> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.roeinewyork.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Leadership: When Doing Your Job Makes You the Bad Guy - URL: https://www.roeinewyork.com/leadership-when-doing-your-job-makes-you-the-bad-guy/ - Published: 2026-10-25T15:30:53.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-25T15:30:53.000Z - Author: Roei Cohen What does leadership really mean? And why is it that sometimes, when you're simply doing your job, you're referred to as a bitch? Hear me out. When I moved to New York, I had no idea I would one day be managing one of New York's most elite brands. I won't call it luck because I worked very hard to get where I am today, and unfortunately, some tragic circumstances got me here as well. Really quick, let me give you some background. I had a mentor who was my best friend, my boss, my family, my everything. Her name was Revi Joseph. Revi helped me spread my wings and fly. We hit it off from the very first day, when I came asking for a job and she wouldn't hire me. I gave her a reason to give me a chance, and the rest is history. Fast forward, Revi passed away from cancer. My heart broke. Shattered. I was sick for 10 days. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't eat or drink. But life continued, and together with Valery, we understood that there was no one else to manage the salon. I was the only one who had worked so closely with Revi, who knew what she knew, how she thought, how she truly operated behind the scenes, how big her heart was, and how she didn't take shit from anyone. Up until Revi's passing, I was her right hand, and so Valery empowered me to become the official manager of Valery Joseph Salon. Boy, oh boy, I wasn't ready. Dealing with the Upper East Side is not for the faint of heart. Through many challenges, trial and error, and asking myself what Revi would do, and hearing her whisper words of guidance in my ear (I still hear them today), I taught myself how to manage and run a successful business. Of course, I was lucky in the sense that I had a great support system, starting with Valery, who gave me a lot of leeway, our back-office team, and clients who became as close as family and were there to give advice and help me see things from different points of view. If I had to choose one of the biggest lessons I've learned, it would be not to take everything personally. It's just business. Over the years, I've put in the time, the effort, the tears, the sweat. Every year opening and closing the Hamptons, coordinating schedules, hiring, educating, improving, building, promoting, expanding, budgeting, not to mention COVID, and the list goes on until your head explodes. All this while making sure the business is operating, growing, and profitable. But the success I've had as a manager, and the success of the salon as a business, wouldn't be possible without the team. They are the real heroes. I can only manage people who want to be managed. But what is managing, really? To me, it's making your team feel supported, heard, and cared for. I approach every employee differently because every employee is different. Some want a more hands-on manager, while others just need support from a distance, and both are okay as long as there is mutual respect. What the front desk needs is not what the colorists or makeup artists need. You have to wear many different hats and sometimes bring out different sides of your personality to relate to everyone. And that's something you learn over time, not from a management handbook. Being a manager means you're responsible 100% of the time, for better or worse: if something goes wrong, it's your fault. If something goes right, or even exceptionally well, you shouldn't necessarily expect any credit. That's a manager's life, and it's okay. Again, I didn't become a manager to hear how good of a job I'm doing. Moment of truth: I know I'm doing a good job. **HOWEVER.** There is another side to management that I don't think people always understand. The decisions you make aren't always going to make everyone happy, even when you genuinely care about the people involved. This is something Revi taught me. She said, "Don't try to make everyone happy, because you can't." You have clients who have been coming to the salon for years. Now there's an issue, whether it's with their timing, stylist, or anything else, and no matter how many solutions you offer, none are good enough. Suddenly, you're the difficult one, the manager who doesn't know what he's doing. The same can happen with employees. You can support someone, help them grow, accommodate their needs, and have a wonderful working relationship. But the moment you say no to something they want, suddenly you're the worst manager, they want to speak with the owner, or they're going to look for another place to work. Sometimes they calm down and apologize. Sometimes I have to find ways to make them understand it's okay to have different points of view, and sometimes we simply have to agree to disagree. If there's a way to communicate, we can have a discussion. Sometimes I'll listen and make accommodations, and other times I'll stand firm with my decision. Here is what I wish more people understood. When I say no, it's not because I want to be difficult or because I enjoy having the last word. Trust me, my day would be much easier if I could say yes to everyone. But every decision I make affects someone else. If I accommodate a client who is an hour late, what happens to the next client who arrived on time? It's not about controlling people. It's about managing situations and seeing the bigger picture. So the question remains: **Who is a good manager? And who gets to decide?** In my case, for the past four years, we have conducted an annual company survey where employees anonymously share feedback about my performance, including what I do well, where I can improve, and whether they feel supported. This is incredibly valuable to me because sometimes you need to hear how other people experience your leadership, not just how you believe you're leading. Another moment of truth: where can I still improve today? My temper. My patience. Trust me when I tell you, I'm 500% better than I was seven years ago, but I'm still a work in progress. I also need to listen more carefully to my gut feeling. Every time I've gone against it because I wanted to please a client, an employee, or just deal with a difficult situation, it bit me in the ass, and correcting the situation was even harder. I'm not saying my gut is always right. But after all these years, I've learned that experience gives you an instinct, and you shouldn't ignore it just because someone might not like your decision. Every manager has their own style and operates by a different set of rules, but I know that what guides me is my loyalty to Revi, even years after she passed, and to Valery, with whom I share so much mutual respect. We are both connected by the love we share for Revi, for what we do, for the team, and for the clients. So, what makes someone a good leader? If you ever get the answer, please share it with me, because the truth is, what is right for one business is not necessarily right for another, and leadership is a dynamic role. All I hope is that somewhere along the way I am making Revi proud. If you've read this far, thank you for your time. Roei Cohen